@hnager...Here's What You Need to Do.

Fix Facebook, it's broken and no one can use it. Pickup your damn vert-tracking iPhone and call Daniel Lisbon, tell him to talk to Andrea Zuckerman and get it fixed. No more lame excuses about not knowing what the problem is or when the staff gets into work - Just fix it!

Tequila Mexican Grill...Here's What You Need to Do.

You need to taste your pico de gallo before you put it out into your cool refrigerated salsa bar. (On a side note, I need to eat more salsa to justify getting a refrigerated salsa bar). Just chopping up a bunch of tomatoes and onions doesn't constitute a condiment. You gotta get some flavor into it. I know that jalepenoes may be expensive and tainted with salmonella, but salt is pretty inexpensive and easy to come by. Don't make me bring my food processor to work to make my own fresh salsa.

Here's What You Need to Do...Here's What You Need to Do

Swap out "Irregardless" with an actual word. Although as regionally acceptable as sharing a slice of pizzer with your cousin tinner (go sox!), people won't get the joke everywhere. This site is going world wide on the web of all places!

Dude with the crappy beard shout-talking next to me on the train...Here's What You Need to Do.

Shut up. Or at least recognize that the guy across from you is 3.2 feet from you and this car is empty and talk softly. I don't care that you are greek orthodox and someone has made a wiki about it. I don't care about your plan to tap into wiki's and open source code to help manage your IT window. I can barely hear the guy you are speaking to, but some how you can hear him, hint, hint.

Wii Fit Trainer...Here's What You Need to Do.

You need to take a good look at your priorities and find a way to be awake, and ready, to train in the morning. Three times now you have shown up late, rubbing your unkempt monochromatic hair - making excuses about how you were up really late the night before. And I don't even want to know where you were that time that the male trainer had to fill in. Get it together and let's do some deep breathing together. That's what she said!

Note to self: Although that really is what she said (see above). I need to stop quoting the Office and instead focus on my endeavor to bring back the Church Lady. Hit it Pearl!

McDonald's...Here's What You Need to Do.

I'm thoroughly confused. Are there two new chicken sandwiches? One for breakfast and one for the rest of the day or is it the same sandwich sold throughout the day. There are two ad campaigns, so I'm assuming two different sandwiches. But what makes one fried chicken sandwich suitable to eat before 10:30am and the other unsuitable? I need an education on what to ask for and what to expect next time I go to Mickey D's, I think the rest of the world does too.